This is an etiquette book by Diane Gottsman, the owner of the Protocol School of Texas. She came to the office on Thursday to teach all of the women a crash course in proper business manners. Do you see how thick that book is? Diane wrote it, and gave us each a copy (win!) It's full of rules (lose!). I'm never going to be able to learn them all. Diane is so perfectly put-together it's unreal. And she presented a slideshow of proper work attire that was basically the Tory Burch catalog in PowerPoint form. Not complaining. Not about to go drop $400 on a dress, but, you know, not complaining.
The basics were pretty standard - look people in the eye, smile, no mini-skirts. But then, there were some wild cards:
When making introductions, always say the most important person's name first. Okay. I bet it's kind of hard to figure out rank in some situations, but the rule makes sense.
Blouses should fall no lower than two inches above the cleavage. Oh, if only I had the problem of excess cleavage! HA. Really though...I'm not gonna stick a ruler down my shirt every morning to make sure it meets the two-inch requirement.
Peep-toe heels are permitted unless you can see more than three toes. Is anyone really going to count how many of your toes they can see? Because I hope not, because that would be weird. I never really look at what kind of shoes people are wearing. Heck, by lunchtime, I've usually forgotten what kind of shoes I myself am wearing.
Don't wear flats. Always some kind of heel. The only exceptions to this rule are the third trimester of pregnancy and if you break your foot. Heels do usually look nicer, at leas on me since I could use some help in the height department. But ballet flats can be classy! Really, I promise!
In some situations, it is inappropriate to wear sequins. My whole life is a lie. What is this madness?
I would love to have whatever it is that makes some people so perfectly put-together. Instead, I got the "I'm wearing pants, and there is mascara in the general vicinity of my eyes, what more do you want from me?" bug. So I may have to start wearing a Work Burqua (worqua?) - I know I'll be plenty covered up, and it'll be comfy, and my hair can frizz up as much as it wants and no one will see!
This is what the new First Family sees as they walk out on the red carpet for the president's inauguration. It's in a part of the capitol that's just a few old offices, so it's not on the regular tour. The doors in the photo aren't even a regular exit - the scaffolding where the president takes the oath is actually not part of the building, it just gets built once every four years to accommodate extra seating and to make sure that the President is lifted up so that everyone gathered on the Mall can see him. (This elevation tactic is not only practical - it is the real-life version of when Rafiki goes to the top of the rock in the Lion King and lifts up Simba so all the other animals can see their future leader.)
If I ever see this view again in person...it will mean that I have made some very interesting choices in my life.
I got to see this because I know some really great people - who know a really great Congressman. This Congressman takes people on tours about once a week while the House is in session. I kept expecting him to leave us and hand us over to an intern - but no. He talked for HOURS about every little detail in the building. I looked up at a chandelier at one point. He said, "I notice you're looking at that chandelier. President Truman signed the order for the government to buy it from an old church that was being torn down. And when they installed it here, it was too heavy for the domed ceiling to support. It fell to the ground. None of the crystals broke." THAT is the level of knowledge this guy has about the Capitol building. We were in the Rotunda when he turned to a facilities person - said "Hey, man, you got the keys?" He did got the keys. And those keys let us in to the Speaker's suite, the House chapel, the old Supreme Court (used to be in the Senate's basement - who knew?) and to the place where they had planned on burying George Washington. Seeing all of this was amazing! And seeing it with a Congressman who does these tours just because he loves the history here has given me more faith in the people who run this country.
Oh, what a week it has been! I keep waiting for my life to get "back to normal" after graduation. My life was never normal. I don't think I want it to be normal, since this all has been so fun! (But I'm still gonna wear my ballet flats. You can take the girl out of the South...you can't take the South out of the girl...)
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