Moving Like Bernie

Sometimes, tragedy is hilarious. One such tragedy is the Lean Like Bernie dance craze, which my very favorite Californian introduced me to (thanks!) This might be the best worst dance craze ever. And it comes from the South.

Seems like we've decided not to spread the good parts of Southern culture- grits, Croakies, and monogrammed everything have yet to take root above the Mason-Dixon line. So why do our worst fads (ie, the KFC Double Down, Pimp Cups, and Jimmy Carter) get shared with the rest of the country?

The bizarre spasming you see in the video is explained by the fact that "Bernie" is dead. A dead movie character, from Weekend at Bernie's. Why anyone thinks that acting like the undead is attractive, I do not understand. (This also applies to twi-hards. Sparklevamp + Sad Girl = nothing to model your life on, folks.)

Let's place the Bernie in context: Probably done at a party/dance/club scenario. Where one is presumably looking to attract members of the opposite sex. Or the same sex. Or houseplants, I don't know. Anyway, here's why the Bernie is a terrible idea:

1. Nobody looks good when they're "out of it."

2. Death (zombiehood?) is the epitome of being "out of it."

3. Bernie was an old guy who wore bright Hawaiian shirts with John Lennon glasses.

4. Therefore, doing the Bernie makes you look tacky and confused. Even the houseplants recognize that this is not cute.

Yet some people think that the Bernie is fun, especially when performed with one's family members or while wearing a Teletubby suit. Though these people are fun to watch, you know some screws are loose since they get great joy from filming themselves acting like epileptic linguine.

Let's take a lesson from the Bernie in the movie: He went on to a better place. Presumably a place where nobody Leans Like Bernie. We can make that place happen all over America. And with that, I say goodnight, and happy midterming!