Dear East Campus Residents,
Dear Jaded Upperclassmen,
As you settle in after Spring Break, we would like to update you again on the progress of the courtyard construction work in East Campus.
Your apartment doesn't have asbestos anymore, but this construction project was supposed to end last August and is still kickin'.
A substantial portion of the work is set to be completed as of this Wednesday, March 14, 2012. We are happy to announce that this means pedestrian access between the Walsh lobby and the Nevils/LXR buildings will be restored as of 12 noon Wednesday. It only took us eight flippin' months to lay about 50 square yards of brick. YAY US!
This means that as of noon Wednesday, access to LXR and interior Nevils apartments will be through the normal doors--Walsh lobby or 35th St LXR lobby. The exterior security doors on N St and 36th St (temporarily accessible during construction) will be closed permanently and re-alarmed to be used in emergencies only. Handicap access to the complex will be available through the Walsh lobby. We can't wait to mock you when someone forgets, runs out the emergency doors, and causes a fire alarm for all three buildings. We also won't post any reminder signs, because we like watching you fail, and we want to punish you in case you didn't read this latest email installment of Stupid Housing Tricks.
While this means you may access the buildings as normal, there are portions of work still ongoing. Continue to expect construction noise and work as these remaining projects are completed.
We plan to continue running jackhammers at 8am outside your windows, because we can. HA.
Parts of the courtyard will remain fenced off throughout, and intermittent disruptions to pedestrian walkways may be necessary. We will provide updates on the progress of the remaining work as it is available to us.
We will continue screwing with you at will.
The chiller, which operates the air conditioning for LXR, Nevils and Walsh is being replaced.
Welcome to the petri dish, you GON GET FRIED.
This project is expected to be completed by early May.
We opted not to do this in the winter, because hey man, logic is for losers.
In the meantime, there is no air conditioning in these residence halls. The heat needs to remain on in the building, as during this time of year there can be great fluctuations in temperature.
Tonight (and for the next six weeks) you dine (and live and sleep)...IN HELL!!!!
We recognize this can be uncomfortable for periods of time. We thank you for your patience as we complete this project.
We know this is unnecessary and will make you uncomfortable. We also know there's not diddly-squat you can do about it. We are now blatantly taunting you.
Thank you for your continued cooperation with the Nevils project work.
Now the only thing that burns hotter than your hatred for us, is your living space.
Sincerely,
Offices of Student Housing
"We recognize this can be uncomfortable for periods of time" But we don't have to live or work there, so we couldn't really care any less what you kids do.
ReplyDelete"Thank you for your continued cooperation with the Nevils project work" Thanks for not suing, because we probably broke about half a dozen different building codes in the process and didn't compensate any of you. Please, donate some money so that we can pay for future construction projects that will be equally great for the campus community.