CPAC Recap

I have been sleeping for 18 of the past 24 hours.  My first CPAC nearly killed me!  I had no voice for most of it - but that's fine by me, because for once I wanted to listen much more than I wanted to talk.  I got to see The College Conservative staff and writers (miss you all already!) plus the who's who of GOP people.

First- The sheer size of this thing.  It was so cool to see just how many people were willing to travel from all over to be a part of this convention.  It is also cool that there is a hotel large enough to hold them.  I don't know if I've ever been in a building that large before.  And DC friends, take note - if you ever have a wedding in the big ballroom (you could fit a football field in there), I better be on the guest list.  I want to see that room all done up in pretty things, and come on, it's not like you won't have space.

Second - The media suite.  A pretty decent view, but mostly - free coffee.  Much needed.  I got a couple questions on how I was admitted, given that I had a white name tag.  I was supposed to have a yellow one, but the check-in people goofed.  The people at the press desk saw that my name was on the list and hole punched a star into my card to signify that I did have credentials.  So there's your answer, ya nametag racists.


Third- The people.  I had never noticed how much old people really love buttons.  Give an old person a button - and they will put it on their sweater.  I saw a lady whose whole body was so covered in campaign buttons that she had buttons for people who dropped out of the race months ago.

I think it's kind of awesome that half the crowd was students.  But these students fell into two groups:  "Fun," and "Trying Too Hard."  One guy trying-too-hard introduced himself to me as "Hi, I'm Newt's biggest fan."  Oh no.  I could tell I had a That Kid on my hands.

Me:  "Really?  That's great!  I volunteer for the campaign- funny enough, I am in one of the ads playing downstairs."
I wanted to share something we had in common.  He, however, viewed this as me throwing down a gauntlet.
Him:  "Yeah, when you search for Newt on twitter, I'm the fourth person who comes up."
Me: nodding.  Wanting to hide behind a fake hotel plant.
Him: "It goes Newt, then Callista, then Drudge, then me."
Me:  "Get a freaking life  Oh, good for you!  Where are you in school?"
Him:  "I'm a Junior at **somewhere lame, I forget**"
Me:  "I'm a Senior at Georgetown, but I'm supposed to be Junior, too." (going for common ground again)
Him:  shifty look
Me:  "I skipped a year.  It's kinda weird, I --
Him: "--I SKIPPED A YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL!"
Me, now doing the plasticky Southern Girl "I hate you" smile:  "Well, good for you!"
Him, smug: "Yep."
Me, now just screwing with him:  "What are you going to do if Newt drops out of the race?"
Him: "I don't know."  *looks down*
----awkward silence----
Him, trying again to be impressive: "I might be in the media suite later."
Me:  "Um, okay then.  Well, I actually have to head over there now.  I hope you get mauled by bears Great to meet you- see you later!"

He was the exception, not the rule.  But hot damn do people try really hard at these things.  From girls wearing hooker tights - can we agree that FISHNETS ARE NOT BUSINESS CASUAL NEVER HAVE BEEN NEVER WILL BE - to guys on the prowl - Friday was networking day, Saturday was getting hit on day.  There were a couple of guys waaaay older than me who I just wanted to look at and say "Oh, you're going Roethlisbergering.  I respect your strategy but it's not gonna work on me."  And before I get any snide comments about right-wingers being socially inept, keep in mind that yeah, they might be awkward, but at least they're not like the Occupiers who rape and assault and harass.


Fourth- The celebrity sightings.  I met Callista Gingrich, Allen West, and Jason Matterra.  Kind of cool, right?  Also got to talk to a Tea Party founder and the girl who started Girls Just Wanna Have Guns.

Fifth- Foooooooood.  Italian dinner with TCC the first night, then lunch with Sarah Palin the next day.  At the Sarah Palin lunch, there wasn't much this celiac could eat - but there was an awesome waiter who kept serving me plates of fruit on the sly.  He is the best waiter ever.  Seriously if restaurants put just strawberries on the menu I would order strawberries every single time.

CPAC was something new and different.  I'm glad I tried it while I could still get the perks of being a student.  I'm grateful for the TCC staffers for allowing me to jump into all of this.  And now, I am especially thankful for sleep.