Attention Span

Thanks to Daylight Savings, I now spend a solid chunk of my waking hours in the dark.  It sucks.  Can't walk anywhere alone, don't want to go outside because it's cold, and so on.  It's easy to get a little stir crazy.

Combine this with my raging case of Senioritis, and BOOM now I have the attention span of a hamster, if you replaced that hamster's water with Four Loko and put a little strobe light in its cage.  Not to say that I partake in Four Loko or strobe lights, because I don't.  This hypothetical hamster is way cooler than me. 

This lack of attention is not good.  But I am still hanging on to the last shreds of my ability to concentrate.  Behold, the comprehensive list of things that will make me drop whatever I'm doing and pay attention to them.

1.  Nail Polish
            Bonus points if it's glittery, because I'm kind of starting to figure out that nails are the only body part you can cover in glitter and still be socially acceptable.  Come on, society!  Let's get on this, because I want to wear all glittery things all the time.


2.  Food
            Duh.  


3.  Animals on the Internet
            Especially animals riding other animals.  Or animals riding roombas.  Or any sort of baby animals. 

4.  Country Music
            If it wasn't for my country Pandora station crooning at me as I wrote my papers this semester, I'd be living in a van down by the river.  Also, I wish I was Taylor Swift.


5.  Travel Stories
            Everything is cooler when you did it abroad.  I have no logical explanation for this.  But since I've never been to Europe and my mental image of it still comes from that movie where Mary-Kate and Ashley go on a European vacation, I imagine that all your abroad stories involve streaky highlights and are set to a soundtrack of 90s pop music.  That probably helps.

6.  Conspiracy Theories
             So it's pretty neat that we got Osama after all these years.  It would be much more awesome if we didn't really shoot him and just had him locked up in Switzerland (cue 90s pop music) and were interrogating the living daylights out of him.  And then if all the information came out in a government document years later.  I'm not saying that's what we should do, I'm just saying it'd be interesting if we did.

7.  Tattoos
             Don't have one, don't want one.  But if you have one, I'll probably ask you what it's about.  If you're one of those big muscle-y guys at the gym, I'll just show up at the water fountain next to you and creep on your tattoo'd arms as I awkwardly pretend to be drinking.


8.  Long Dresses
             I hate shopping for normal people clothes.  I would really like to pretend that I am not a jeans-wearing, laundry-doing college student, and that I get to wear dresses and be prettified all the time.


9.  Freaky Medical and/or Crime Stories
                Blame it on the Na-a-a-a-a-ancy Grace.

10.  Winter and Water Sports

                  Tubing and boarding in the summer, and attempting to sled on measly Georgia snowfall in the winter, will never get old for me.  If you were never - at any point during your childhood - pulled on a raft behind a boat going upwards of 50mph, I have some bad news, your parents don't love you.

The whole parents-not-loving-you thing would be a really depressing way to end this post, so here's a dog dressed as Yoda.

See?  Much better now!