You Must Be This Tall To Ride

One of the oldest, most storied traditions we have at Georgetown involves the statue of John Carrol perched on the front lawn. College kids have been jumping in the statue's lap for well over a hundred years now- as a rising senior with time quickly running out, I decided a good ol' JC run needed to happen.

So it's the middle of June, and I'm walking with a friend through campus. No DPS officers in sight. Not much of anybody in sight- campus had emptied out. The moment was just too perfect: I had to carpe that diem right then and there. I hoisted myself up onto JC's pedestal and then...promptly fell off the statue. I thought of all the facebook pictures I'd seen of my classmates climbing on the statue. If everybody does it, and usually does it somewhere on the scale of one to drunk, it can't be this hard for sober me, right? For attempt number two, I got a running start - which added lots of velocity to the second fall.

By this time I'd had enough. I would conquer the hunk of granite come hell or high water. So I gave myself one last push, and clutched that statue like a lemur clings a branch. I hung there, staring intently at JC's ankles, until my patient, camera-wielding friend suggested we try another night. I let go of JC's pedestal and made the walk of shame back to my apartment.

Lesson: The only thing more embarrassing than being caught in a goofy tradition, is being on the front lawn of a world-famous university and failing at said goofy tradition.

Here's a visual metaphor for this whole experience:

White dog = everyone, ever.

Brown dog = me

Bushes = John Carroll statue

Theme music = the sound of shame