My Trip Home, According to Hipsters

I'm going home for the weekend, woohooooo!

What I will do at home this weekend:     What New England hipsters think I will do this weekend:

Spend time with my family                     Spend time with my family
Watch Say Yes to the Dress re-runs      Marry one of my cousins
Do some grocery shopping                    Hunt squirrels for sustenance
Drive around with my brother                Accelerate global warming, make Al Gore cry
Sleep in                                                Be a part of the evil, lazy 1%
Go to church                                        Conform with society
Wear warm-weather clothes      Wear things involving bald eagles
WAFFLE HOUSE                             WAFFLE HOUSE
Enjoy an enclave without liberals           Hunt liberals from a log cabin
Get my hair trimmed                             Spawn a she-mullet