The Biebs

The other day, I took a walk to CVS to pick up some contact solution and index cards. My life is so glamourous, I know, you're jealous.

On my way to aforementioned CVS, I saw this gem parked on the side of the road.

Yep, I was going to get some gunk so my contacts stop attacking my eyes. But my vision isn't all that horrible! Could it be?

Yes. Someone, likely a group of someones, spent hours of their lives decorating this BieberMobile. It's probably a good idea, since an unmarked white van = sure sign of perv transport. I know this because I read the internet and watched Nancy Grace on the teevee once.

Now, some of you may be thinking that a BieberMobile would only lure in more tweenyboppers with false promises of swoopy hair and playing video games at Usher's house. To which I say, I took a lot of allergy medicine this morning, so logic is not going to be happening here at the moment.

Also- What the eff is a Bebber? Heaven help the poor soul who, after these Bieberites (Bebberites?) outgrow their phase, gets to inherit a van plastered with pictures of a manboy. 'Cause those magazine pages in the first pic are on there like white on rice. Oh, and do you see that Georgia tag in the corner? Mom and Dad, this is why I'm glad I decided to go to college out-of-state.

There is a terribly sadistic part of me that wants this van to be involved in a crash, or reckless driving or something. This is entirely because I want to see an insurance dweeb taking pictures of this BieberBeast and having to act all serious about it. A courtroom would be even better: "Your honor, Exhibit A. You can see clearly that Bieb's forehead appears dented on the driver's side window. Everyone in the Western world knows that Biebster has flawless skin. In fact, he is a completely flawless human being. Thus, the forehead blemish proves that damage did occur to the vehicle."

I have now spent far too long word-vomming about a little Canadian Backstreet Boy Pop Music Spawn. When puberty comes around for that kid, it's gonna hit him like a truck. A truck that may or may not be decorated with pictures of his face.

TheeeeeeeEnd :)